Olympic Winners and Losers

The Olympics have been blasting on the television lately. We all have been watching, flipping back and forth between the Bachelor and American Idol. Either way we are glued to the screen. In these games there are winners and losers. And some have been winners and losers in more ways than one in the sport of ice skating.

A big winner in my opinion is American figure skater Johnny Weir. Though dear Johnny did not metal he has been the victim of some homophobic remarks for his colorful routines and even more colorful wardrobe. One sportscaster suggested poor Johnny be subject to a gender test! Another homophobic mouth breather said something to the effect that this Johnny is what happens if we let boys skate. With dignity and grace Johnny responded, “Every little boy should be so lucky as to turn into me.” Johnny, you are charismatic and captivating. We don’t care who you date. Go Johnny go!

Another winner was Joannie Rochette who is skating despite the death of her mother from a heart attack. The poor thing is probably grieving her heart out yet has been giving some good performances on the ice. With a great smile and technique to match, no matter what this ice queen with a soap opera tale is stealing the hearts of viewers and scores from the Olympic committee. This diva on blades is honoring her mama’s memory by using what she gave her and skating her way to the gold.

One big loser in my opinion was Evgeni Plushenko, who won the bronze medal in the men’s competition and wrote on his website that he not only deserved gold but rather the platinum medal. That was not only poor sportsmanship but made him look like an idiotic sore loser. Not only did he look like an ass weed, but everyone knows there is no such thing as the platinum medal. That is, except in the Land of Delusion where clearly Evgeni Plushenko is reigning king and ultimate skating champion. Hey, neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live there.

Two big losers were Russian ice dancers Oksana Domina and Maxim Shabilin dancing to an Aboriginal routine. Not only was it offensive to Aboriginal leaders, but it was badly done. The two ice brains mugged excessively and at one juncture Maxim lead Oksana around by her ponytail. In addition the choreography was poor and so was the technique. Hey Oksana and Maxim, you live in the land of ice and snow and have never seen a person of Aboriginal origin in your life. Why not stick with what you know comrades?

The truth is, the Olympics have these winners and losers both in the event and in the realm of human achievement. These stories and these people capture our hearts and have us cheering and jeering. If only the ancient Greeks knew all this and more would happen every four years….