There was this girl I went to high school with that was absolutely perfect in every way. She had sun kissed brownish blonde hair that cascaded in curls down her back. Her emerald eyes sparkled along with her pearl white smile. As if that weren’t enough this girl was smart. On the gifted track from the beginning she placed third in our graduating class. In addition she had a gorgeous soprano voice and captured All State Choir and a leading role in every spring musical. When she wasn’t in school she volunteered at her church. It would have been so easy to hate her but she was so nice. As a matter of fact she may have been one of the nicest people I went to school with.

After high school she went to a Christian college in hopes of becoming an elementary school teacher. Fine and dandy but this girl had the smarts to be a college professor. Then she began to date and married an older guy from her church. This would have been good too except he looked like a troll. Granted, he was probably a nice guy because she was such a sweetheart she could have gotten someone who was of normal weight with all their hair. Miss Perfect and Troll Man went on to wed, mind you she still had three semesters left of college when this happened. This girl should chucked Troll Man aside and explored her options. She was so beautiful that she could have had her pick of suitors. Then my friend saw her and apparently she was substituting at a local high school. Translated, she was a professional attendance taker and VCR button pusher. To top it off she told my friend she was four months pregnant. What! This girl could have had a lot of things, including a career as a singer. She should have explored her options. For the record I have seen photos of her baby of facebook. Thank goodness the mother’s genetics won out.

Throughout the years I have taken a much different path. I live a pipe dream in the hardest, most expensive city in the world. I have never been married but my ex-fiance made my life so miserable after we broke up he is the partial reason I got a PO Box. In addition right now one of my closest friends in the world, someone who is like an uncle, is dealing with advanced HIV. The crazy thing is that if this all were to rain on Miss Perfect’s bubble with her troll husband she couldn’t deal. It’s funny how the perfect people of the world run to folks like myself when their lives are raining crap. It’s because we are experts I suppose.

Back in the day I was jealous, but now I know it was a waste of time. I used to call her perfect but there is a word that more correctly describes her. That word is boring.